Hot air from a bored mind – life in my shoes

So… Blogging… (Tumbleweed)

On the recommendation of several members of my family, and one or two of my few literate friends I have decided to start a ‘blog’. This is somewhere I can air my random tirades of piffle and hogwash upon you, the unfortunate reader.

Also when I did write up little bits of my mind and send them out there was always somebody missed off the e-mail list, or people wanted to forward it on to friends or something. I have no idea why, frankly when I am bored (8:30am-5pm, every workday) I go on www.cheezburger.com and look at de-motivational posters or Fail book, or any of the other time consuming pages in the glorious Cheezburger network. 

If you happen to hail from my wonderful, wonderful prison place of work then the above is completely false. I am a completely dedicated and loyal employee. Please also note that any repercussions as a result of this blog will result in my ‘forgetting’ to restock the tea, coffee or bog roll. Also next time one of you breaks the goddamn toilet seat or shits on the floor I will not sort it out. To readers not from my office, yes those two things did in fact happen and despite my weight I was not present when the seat broke and I was unfortunate enough to discover the present on the floor one afternoon. The only male in this office who I trust did not commit these heinous offences is me, I have my suspicions…

So if you are reading this I can only assume your life is even more boring than mine- in which case you have my pity. You should go and look at the pictures of cute kitties on the aforementioned boredom fixing websites to cheer your meaningless life up.

If you happen to be reading this and you are not actually someone who knows me personally, you may or may not be offended by my humor, so let’s get something straight right away. Politically incorrect stereotypes references are funny. It’s something we all know, and if you don’t agree with my humor you might as well not bother continuing. Also, swearing happens. So deal with it.

The biggest problem with a blog, other than my general lack of technical knowledge and the need to continually add things to it is that the things contained in this blog from here on out are generally things that happened to me, from my perspective and with literally some exaggeration. Now because the people involved in the tales may read them this could cause me problems, so if you read about yourself I mean only limited offence. In fact if what you read could be taken in more than one way I meant the complementary way and not the insulting one, or the lesser of two evils.

Although I am only starting this blog now (late 2011) I used to occasionally go somewhere or do something and write about it then e-mail it to friends and family. If I can find those e-mails I will stick them up here, as I am not likely to keep updating the blog too often.

For those of you who are insulted and don’t know me, I guess I won't be explaining who I am or posting my address – not on purpose anyway – in case you decide to do something about it. For reference purposes, I am male, straight, only single if Vicky is not reading this, of Chinese and White English decent, look like a Jewish Arab (Jew nose and hair, Arab complexion), fairly overweight, below average height, live at my mum’s house with Vicky and I have one all-consuming hobby – cars (driving them, knowing about them, working on them, talking about them – anything car). Plus lots of other minor hobbies, none of which are your business.

There is the option to comment on my posts, so please do feel free to do so. You could correct my spelling or grammar, call me unpleasant things or tell me how awesomez I am (as if I didn’t know already).