Sick notes, Poo and Silence

Not a lot has been going on in my life of late – not a lot of interesting things anyway.

Davin, Denise, Tony and Mum went on a weeklong cruise in the Mediterranean, they just got back and they seem very content. They managed not to kill each other, and nobody sunk the boat. Davin even came back with an award so they claim – he won a game called ‘The Weakest Link’ (Loosely based one assumes, on the TV show of the same name). This led to him being crowned the smartest passenger aboard. Quite an achievement you think – until you find that it was an American cruise liner, full of American tourists. So being the smartest aboard is a foregone conclusion. Frankly I feel it was a little unfair to let other nationalities join in.

Be that as it may they are all home safe and sound, our tranquillity is now broken.

We have also just returned from two weeks of house sitting for Vicky’s parents. ‘We’ being myself and Vicky of course.

So for the last three weeks we have barely seen anyone, for two weeks we lived at the ‘in-laws’ merrily overfeeding their dog and then for a week we had blissful silence in an empty home.

Watching the dog is not all bad, he is a small terrier and to top it off getting a bit old so it’s just two walks a day and one meal. Plus lots of begging and table scraps. Oh and poo, a lot of poo for a small animal.

Me and the dog get on very well in fact, we both like company and he doesn’t mind sitting around in the garage whilst I pretend to fix things on the heep, or watching TV and playing on the Xbox.

Aside from the two poos per walk walking is pain free – normally after about 100 meters the dog has given up and wants to go home, which suits me fine. What does not suit me however is the dirty looks all bystanders give you for picking up your dogs poo. Even though I am clearly picking it up (In a baggy) and binning it every non-dog walker give you a look like pure evil. Would they rather step in it?

Vicky’s parents have in fact been in Florida for the last couple of weeks, they came back not tanned enough and rented the wrong car – A Toymota Camry (Shudders). Their only requirement whilst there was to rent something interesting as I was not there to do it for them and they get a Toymota – the most boring model of Toymota at that! Actually now I think of it they didn’t bring me back any Gobstoppers candy either – sacrilege. Still I got some beef jerky and a belt, it’s not all bad.

And worst of all, for the past 3 weeks I have been ill. It’s not full blown man flu, just a damned cold that Will. Not. Go. Away.

It started with a week of sore throats, then moved on to snot and coughing. Two weeks on I am still coughing my guts up. I found an old inhaler in the kitchen and that stops the worst of the coughing for very short periods at a time, and I have been taking cough medicine by the gallon but both don’t really have an effect any more. Except burn, god-dammit cough medicine burns.

So that’s it, a summary of a grumpy and boring few weeks – and everyone but me has been on holiday.

But there is a silver lining – maybe two if the weather forecasts hold out. Firstly we are due a harsh winter – lots of snow so they predict. This is excellent as I can go and slide about in the heep.

Secondly our skiing holiday is booked up (hooray). 13 of us going to Val-Thorens in the French Alps January next year, it’s going to be a messy one and I will do my best to make a note of every sordid detail.