Goodbye soupy car

So a while ago we had a little Seat supplied by Abi, Daisy's friend. From this point on Abi shall be referred to as 'Soupy', not too sure why but I like it so it can stick. The Seat had sat in a field awaiting its final fate as the scrap value was low at the time and expected to rise. As the value had risen recently it seemed time to get rid, and to be fair I have had some spare time during the day...

When I announced the Seats final fate was approaching over dinner one night I was surprised to hear Daisy pipe up with a question: can I beat it up before it goes? As it make no difference to the scrapyard I told her I couldn't care less.
So off we went to drag the Seat out of the field and give it a final bit of abuse before it goes. Without further ado, on to the pics and vids;

The Beginning;

The tools available;

 

The before;

 

A work in progress;

 

 

 

A short clip of Daisy at work, if you watch closely she stops because she assaults my car on the back swing!

And the aftermath;

 

 

 

 

Thanks Abi!!

 

Like a prison, but for toddlers - and hell, for parents.

My to do list is reducing, now I am mostly left with the stuff I have been avoiding and will continue to avoid. The burst of excercising I did to start with has pretty much stopped, that is to say - when the dog gave up walking so did I.

So to celebrate I figured I would volunteer to child sit for a friend. I am not too sure why to be honest, thats kind of like rewarding yourself by flogging. Anyway my grand plan was to take him (HD, a nearly 3 year old boy) too an indoor activity centre called Playdays.

Playdays is essentially a prison for small children where they are kept entertained by a large climbing frame with lots of slides, ball pits and obstacles all padded to prevent serious injury. I figured that upon arrival he would run off and play with like minded children and I could order lunch and read a magazine.

Stage one of plan A was in question immediately, I was told upon arrival that the kitchen was overwhelmed and shutting down. The place was heaving, barely any seats left and screaming children everywhere.

Thankfully HD was in his element, and rushed of with little or no concern for my lack of lunch. I settled down on an uncomfortable and far too small folding chair with my magazine. My peace and quiet was shortlived, apparently to continue playing I was required to run around with HD. Whilst climbing frames and slides made for 3 year olds work well when they use them they are not so easy for me. I tried to quit and escape, got lost twice and then caught before getting to the exit. Eventually I found myself sat in a ball pit, disoriented but alive. Small children swarmed like rabid animals, I found that their sight is motion based. Jurassic park has taught me if I hold still I can avoid detection, this worked for a while but any attempt to escape resulted in immediate bundling. Some children it also turns out are biters, buggers have sharp teeth.

My salvation was announced over the tannoy in two stages, stage one - "The office next door has hired a clamping company and they will be clamping all vehicles parked in their carpark without permission in 5 minutes." This brought upon a mass parent exodus, resulting in mass child distraction. I freed myself in the ensuing chaos and returned to my uncomfortable chair and magazine, confident that my car was in the correct carpark. No sooner had I done so stage two of announcements came up, "Due to demand the kitchen will reopen for half an hour". I was able to order a bacon and cheese panini and chips, plus some nuggets and chips for HD.

I was also able to convince HD to eat a couple of chips, and with creative lying also pretend that HP was ketchup. I was on a roll, right up until he forced me back into the play area. I headed straight for the ball pit as experience had showed me it was a safe hideout, but this time someone had switched on the cannons around the arena - and worse some other ass-bandit taught the animals how to use them.

I was once again saved by the tannoy, this time they were announcing it was kickout time. With use of a crowbar and a blowtorch I was able to remove HD and place him in the car. I think I had it easy, I am pretty sure I saw some parents using explosives. One may have had a tank, not sure.

Having gone through withdrawal symptoms similar to a crack junkie HD cheered up when I dropped him home, I dunno about him but I was knackered.

Where did all the time go?

So I am now on day three of full time unemployment, and I seem to have less time than I ever did working!

I finished on Tuesday, and duly went to my inlaws house to gossip about the last couple of days in the office, teach them how to get books for their Kindles and walk the dog.
I chose to walk the dog first, and in the interests of building some leg muscles prior to Skiing next year I figured the dog and I would mooch over to Allens garage, a 2.3 mile walk each way.
The dog was overjoyed to see me (always is, I am a soft touch for treats) and almost beside himself when I picked up his lead.
Ipod on and off we trotted, we made it there with no incident, chatted to Crispy for a short while then turned to leave.
The dog seemed pleased to leave Allens, but as we walked past all the parked cars and didn't get in any of them he started to get nervous, upon leaving the carpark and the realisation of the walk home hit him he sat down and expectantly watched the parked cars. I had to drag him for a couple of meters before he accepted his fate.
So hard on him was the walk home that on a long hill he tried to commit suicide by hurling himself into oncoming traffic, but alas I saved him.
The final part of the walk was in an unlit path behind houses, I used my phone to light the way but the battery died, at this point dog decided that the dark was no fun and insisted we change direction and go by the lit road. Not only is the dog lazy, but also it turns out he is scared of the dark. He is also an utter fraud, because it started to rain and he ran the last hundred meters or so home after winging all the the way beforehand.

To keep a routine I have been told I must wake up as if I were going to work every weekday and do chores or walk the dog, on Wednesday morning I chose to walk the dog again.
Again the dog was pleased to see me, but when we got to the end of the road he did two massive shits and sat down. It took me some time to entice him to move again, and for the first mile he kept trying to lead me home at every junction.
The walk there and back was painfully slow, it was clear I have found the only thing in the world lazier than me. I gave him a break and haven't walked him since. I am hoping to convince him to go again next week though, because walking on my own is even more boring than enticing the dog with treats all the way.
I have been doing lots of round the house chores, but it seems everything takes three times longer than expected, and yesterday I broke the jetwash.
Today I am going to sign on at a local temping agency, I still have yet to hear from Nasa about the astronought job but what with the time difference there I guess I should be patient.

We in the interests of fitness I also agreed to play Badminton last night with Davin, I sent a text round and was surprised to get a big response. It turns out everyone likes a bit of Badminton playing. The only thing as tonight was a Badminton club, run by local 'enthusiasts'. The enthusiasts were well pleased to have so many people turn up to play, but when they realised that we were just there for fun and had no idea of the actual game rules they were a little less pleased. I think I can safely say I lost every game I played, but it was a good night for us all the same.
Davin is now broken, he got leg cramp so bad he had to quit. He recons he will keep going to the club though - and I quote - 'until he can beat them all - shouldn't take long' watch this space I suppose.