Off to a bad start, the alarm we set to go off at six had not gone off by 0730 when Crispy and Ken rang me to ask why they were waiting for me downstairs. It was on Vicky's phone, which still cheerfully stated the alarm was due to go off imminently at six even though by its own admission the time was seven thirty.
The weather was fantastic, truly the calm after the storm. Although over a foot of snow had dropped in a relatively short amount of time there was only a few inches of packed snow and ice on the roads as the snow ploughs had been out in force. The mountains looked perfect and conditions for skiing would be ideal.
Ken Crispy and I were to collect the cars and bring them back to the apartment for loading first thing. Because I was late they insisted on walking fast so by the time we got to the car park I was wheezing like a broken dogs chew toy in a tumble drier. Ken ambled off to find the lovebus and Crispy stayed with me to find the Lolvo as I had the jump cables to start his car.
It took a worryingly long time to start my car - it is no more a morning person than me it appears. Also just to annoy me I found that because I was parked on a low floor in the car park the rear of the car and roof were covered in a fine layer of snow - so much for not needing to clear the damn thing off.
Once mine had rattled to life we went to find the Lexus, Crispy even guessed the correct floor to find it. Its a good thing he did, because when we came across the correct floor it was shrouded in a diesel smog. At the center of the smog was a familiar white van - Kens van in fact. Apparently the diesel heater was the cause of the cancer inducing smog but instead of switching it off Ken insisted it would clear - eventually.
Spurred on by death by van we were able to quickly jump start the Lexus and leave the parking level it resided on. When we got to the exit Ken and I handed our tickets to the automated machine and drove straight out, we had decided to rely on 4wd (lolvo) and snow tires (van) to get us around the resort as we felt it was not too bad. Crispy was concerned that the Lexus would be unable to stop or start moving once he left the safety of the dry carpark so he opted to chain up in the carpark before leaving. This it turned out would be his downfall.
There was very limited space to park once leaving the car park, so Ken chose to park in front of an (empty) snowplough and I chose to park in a space next to them with the mountain behind me. As we chatted we were approached by an anxious looking Frenchman extremely proficient in arm waving. Through many excessive gestures and much shouting he insisted we should move - the Val Thorens authorities would be using controlled explosions to create avalanches and as a result the roads surrounding the car park could be receiving the displaced snow.
With panic at the forefront of our minds we told Crispy only to find he had not yet got his chains on - shouty arm waving man insisted we abandon his car in the car park and immediately move our cars or risk losing them. In true Top Gear style we abandoned Crispy and ran away.
Feeling slightly guilty I returned to the car park after loading the Lolvo at the flats, Crispy had made it down the hill outside the carpark but was still unable to fit the chains and had got stuck trying to go uphill.
I helped him fit the chains and led him back to the apartment to load up.
We were actually loaded and ready to leave by 0930 - a good three hours before I thought we would get on the move. Traffic down the mountain was terrible, and after the traffic ended we then got stuck behind a snowplough anyway.
After getting out of the mountains the journey home was actually pain free - a good end to a brilliant holiday.
And no - we were unable to get customs to search anyone again - frankly I'm starting to think I could smuggle in immigrants on the roof and still get away with it.
The weather was fantastic, truly the calm after the storm. Although over a foot of snow had dropped in a relatively short amount of time there was only a few inches of packed snow and ice on the roads as the snow ploughs had been out in force. The mountains looked perfect and conditions for skiing would be ideal.
Ken Crispy and I were to collect the cars and bring them back to the apartment for loading first thing. Because I was late they insisted on walking fast so by the time we got to the car park I was wheezing like a broken dogs chew toy in a tumble drier. Ken ambled off to find the lovebus and Crispy stayed with me to find the Lolvo as I had the jump cables to start his car.
It took a worryingly long time to start my car - it is no more a morning person than me it appears. Also just to annoy me I found that because I was parked on a low floor in the car park the rear of the car and roof were covered in a fine layer of snow - so much for not needing to clear the damn thing off.
Once mine had rattled to life we went to find the Lexus, Crispy even guessed the correct floor to find it. Its a good thing he did, because when we came across the correct floor it was shrouded in a diesel smog. At the center of the smog was a familiar white van - Kens van in fact. Apparently the diesel heater was the cause of the cancer inducing smog but instead of switching it off Ken insisted it would clear - eventually.
Spurred on by death by van we were able to quickly jump start the Lexus and leave the parking level it resided on. When we got to the exit Ken and I handed our tickets to the automated machine and drove straight out, we had decided to rely on 4wd (lolvo) and snow tires (van) to get us around the resort as we felt it was not too bad. Crispy was concerned that the Lexus would be unable to stop or start moving once he left the safety of the dry carpark so he opted to chain up in the carpark before leaving. This it turned out would be his downfall.
There was very limited space to park once leaving the car park, so Ken chose to park in front of an (empty) snowplough and I chose to park in a space next to them with the mountain behind me. As we chatted we were approached by an anxious looking Frenchman extremely proficient in arm waving. Through many excessive gestures and much shouting he insisted we should move - the Val Thorens authorities would be using controlled explosions to create avalanches and as a result the roads surrounding the car park could be receiving the displaced snow.
With panic at the forefront of our minds we told Crispy only to find he had not yet got his chains on - shouty arm waving man insisted we abandon his car in the car park and immediately move our cars or risk losing them. In true Top Gear style we abandoned Crispy and ran away.
Feeling slightly guilty I returned to the car park after loading the Lolvo at the flats, Crispy had made it down the hill outside the carpark but was still unable to fit the chains and had got stuck trying to go uphill.
I helped him fit the chains and led him back to the apartment to load up.
We were actually loaded and ready to leave by 0930 - a good three hours before I thought we would get on the move. Traffic down the mountain was terrible, and after the traffic ended we then got stuck behind a snowplough anyway.
After getting out of the mountains the journey home was actually pain free - a good end to a brilliant holiday.
And no - we were unable to get customs to search anyone again - frankly I'm starting to think I could smuggle in immigrants on the roof and still get away with it.
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